Dear Nobody: Scratch That…

Dear Nobody,

I no longer feel blessedly numb. Today I feel like absolute shit.

Welcome to the world of emotional dysregulation.

Today is a day where I want to dig my own heart out and bludgeon it with a shovel. I want to drink so much alcohol and smoke so much weed that I can’t think anymore. I want to do bad things and hurt myself. I want to lash out and hurt all the people who’ve contributed to this relentless, soul-stabbing pain.

I won’t.

But I really want to.